I can assure you, no one has ever uttered the words, “I am going to France and I am going to see all the sights including Paris, Nice, Cannes, St. Tropez and Mazargues”. It has never happened and it never will. It would be like saying, “I am going to Canada and I am going to Vancouver, Lake Louise, the Cabot Trail and then we are going to hang out in the Junction for a few days”. Not that there is anything wrong with the Junction, mind you.

When in France, we live in Marseille. But more specific, we live in Mazargues. Mazargues is just down the road from Marseille and is one of the communities on the old road up over the mountain to Cassis and then further east along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea to St. Tropez.

I have to be honest when I say it is not a pretty little town. There is really no redeeming feature to it. It is not “quaint” and it is not “handsome”. It is an old town that I think it has always been a bit run down. I have seen old photos of it when the road was cobbles with a parallel trolley line, and it does not appear to have been much prettier then. Maybe that is what gives it its charm. There is a bit of a historic square that maybe once had some charm. There is another parking lot (that is all it is, parking) by the name of “Place de la Viellue Eglise”. What do you think was there once upon a time?

But, it is home. It is where we live and it is where more days than not I go for a walk, even if it is only to get a fresh baguette.

Last week, I went for a walk to do an audit of what really exists in my town. I have done this walk hundreds of times, but this time I took a pen and paper and made an accounting of what was there. I should be hired by the Mazargues BIA and make for them one of those brochure maps of the area showing all of the businesses. I like a nice brochure map.

It is a pretty simple layout. Think of an “L”. Top to bottom it is no more than 600 metres and two lights. Across the bottom it is maybe another 400 metres. At the top of the “L” is the “Obelisque” (yes a real obelisque). At the bottom of the “L” there is what I simple refer to as the “Corner Of Death”. Crossing the street there once (with the light) I caused a fender bender smash of two cars not thinking that any pedestrians should be in the area. And at the far right of the bottom of the “L” sits an eglise. There is a surprise. And that is Mazargues. Past the eglise, the road continues as a road of death that I refuse to cycle on anymore ending at another town called Beaumettes, best known as the site of a maximum security prison. Look for it on the Google. You cannot. It is fogged out for security reasons.

Our home is about a 450 metre stroll south of the Corner Of Death via a pedestrian walkway. The walkway has at each entrance a barricade just large enough that the scooters driven by the local youth can squeeze through. Thank you very little.

Off I went. I walked up the path dodging scooters, dog poo and disgarded masks and continued past the Corner of Death up to the Obelisque, turned around and started my audit. Walking itself, I should say is no small feat in and of itself. Sidewalks are more of an afterthought and where they exist, are at most are wide enough for one person. The balance of the non traffic space is simply parking. The parking rule in France seems pretty simple – if there is no physical barrier making it impossible to park, it is parking.

And with all that, here is the summary sheet of Mazargues with annotations:

Tabac -2

I was surprised. This is France. Only two. But, there is one other store selling e-cigarettes and on other selling CBD products

Boulangerie – 4

Again, this is France. There is the “Oblesique” boulangerie, the “Corner of Death” boulangerie, the “Middle” boulangerie and the “Eglise” Boulangerie. I usually go to the Corner of Death Boulangerie as it is a tad closer. They make a Challah for Friday night. They know me. Ask for Usiel and tell him I sent you. Janny prefers the Eglise Boulangerie for their patisserie. They had set up outside a few bistro tables both inside and out, clearly illegally, that made this the only resto open in all of France. We were going a few times a week just to do something, until someone tipped off the Gendarme. So much for that.

Pharmacies – 3

You may think this is overkill, but it is not. It seems that “open” hours are really a suggestion only and even if open, my experience is that it is 50-50 at best that they will have in stock what you want.

Scooter Repair Shops – 2; Cell Phone Repair Shops -2

When you crash your scooter at the Corner of Death, you often need to get your cell phone repaired at the same time.

Green Grocers – 7

I like these. They are tiny little stores selling fresh fruit and produce (and olives) with products pouring out into the street. I most often to go to the one next to the Eglise Boulangerie.

Variety Store – 1

I may being liberal in calling it a “variety” store. All it seems to sell is cases of soft drinks and water. I have not figured that one out.

Supermarket – 1

There is one relatively small supermarket. It is well stocked and good for getting stuff without having to get into the car. And yes, it is fully stocked with wine, beer, liquor, snacks and interestingly, a metre long sausage product. Good to have on hand to check your social distancing. Now I understand the public health ads that encourage people to stay one sausage length away from one another.

Dry Cleaner and Laundromat -3

I have never been in the laundromat. My guess is that people use it in the winter to dry clothes as no one (including us) has a drier. That is what the sun and wind is for. And I have never seen of the two dry cleaners open, ever.

Hair Salon – 13

What is it with that? I just don’t get it. I went into one once. It was empty, but the owner told me I had to make an appointment. Maybe that is why there are 13 all about to go out of business.

Prepared Foods – 5

This includes a quite nice new formagerie. It looks very nice. Janny does not eat cheese though. Too bad. I will go in next time to see if they sell Kraft Singles.

Boucherie – 3

I get that. You need meat.

Poissoniere – 1

I do go from time to time. Like some of the stores, it seems to be open a few hours a week. I went last Monday at 1000 am. Silly me. It was closed.

Cocqilage – 1

Not to be confused with the poissnoiere – they only sell shell fish, and primarily oysters and mussels.

Banks/Credit Unions – 8

Other than the one of course that we bank at. Sigh.

Post Office – 1

Real Estate Agents – 8

Really? For what?

Vets – 2

Used book store – 1

Art Studio/School -1
It has truly horrendous and scary pieces of very amature work in the front window. I am not sure I have ever seen anyone go in our out. Every time I go by, I think of my elementary school art teacher, Lois Snyder. She suggested to me once that I not take art in High School as I would be “frustrated with my work.” Some of the best advice I have ever received.

OTB/Lotto – 2

At least I think it is OTB. There is a neon sign with a picture of a horse.

Tattoo – 2

Why not?

Flower Store – 3

This includes two vans that park by the Obelisque. During Confinement Season 2, the flower shop was open as an essential service. The owner of the one shop knows me now. I get Janny flowers every Friday. Last Friday, she added a stem of something else for me.

Driving School – 1

That may explain the poor state of the French driver.

Health Care Products – 4

This includes two optical stores.

Spa – 1

We have never gone but I would like to. It seems just like the one we go to in Toronto – clean yet schmorgy at the same time.

Food/Restaurants

I have to subcategorize as follows:

Pizza/Burger Take away – 10
Brasserie – 4
Couscous/Tagine – 1
Ice Cream – 1
Asian – 7
Vegetarian – 1
“Let’s go for lunch” – 3

I do scratch my head at this. There is a lot of Pizza, ok. But what is it with all of the Asian restaurants? I have not been to the couscous, but then again, I have not been to a restaurant other than the Eglise Boulangerie since October!

There is a nice bistro we go to right by the Eglise and when allowed and not too windy, the tables pour out in into the square in front of the Eglise. It is very civilized. There is a nice Italian looking place on one of the few parallel streets I would like to try. And the third, which has changed hands a few times, sits on what was once I suspect a town square. It is now of course a street. I once tried to go at 230 pm one day. Too late. They would not serve me. I then tried to go back the day BEFORE Confinement Season 2 was to start. It was closed. Go figure.
And then there is Le Cigalon. Le Cigalon is locate right at (or really in) the Corner of Death, and two doors down from a Tabac. While it is appears to be just a brasserie, it really seems to be a community centre! The fellas start to show up as soon as the security gate is pushed up and the tables are placed out on to the sidewalk (really no more than a curb there) and often on to the street itself. Motorcycles and scooters are placed defensively in the intersection to protect the tables (and the patrons). The breakfast pastis is poured and it continues all day long. While I have been treated well the few times I have ventured into Le Cigalon for a cold beer on a hot chore run, I am certainly not yet greeted as one of the regulars, and I suspect I never will be. Le Cigalon really seems to be the heart and soul of Mazargues.

And what is missing from Mazargues? You cannot dress yourself to save your life. You can get glassses and shoes so you will have to cross the Corner of Death naked. I find this a bit strange. And no hardware store. You have to go to the big box store one kilometre away. There is a plumber and heating and A/C guy though. And I wish that there was one place where I could buy an english newspaper. Actually, there is no place to buy any newspaper that I think of! Thankfully, there is a place I can get one about one kilometer from the house in another direction.

Now, I am not suggesting that one your next trip to France you come to Mazargues. Come to Marseille if you can though. There is stuff to do. But if you do come to Mazargues, let me know. I will give you the tour and maybe by then we can have a glass of wine together on an outdoor patio. Or, we can just sit at Le Cigalon. That would be nice.