Driving in France is bad enough, but parking is a whole other story. It is impossible. I am anxious enough about driving in this country in the first place (I am generally not an anxious driver) but it is the thought about parking that puts me over the top. At the thought of going out and having to park somewhere, my heart just sinks and my mind goes immediately to, “What option will result in the easiest parking event?”

I go to a supermarket that is a bit farther away from our house than the closest one, but it has a big outdoor parking lot as opposed to a tight underground lot. I have my “car boulangerie”, which is second in my preference to the one I walk to, but at least there is generally street parking nearby. (I do ignore the parking “area” right in front of the boulangerie.

And for a people where the national motto is Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, I think the French drivers just focus on Liberte and their God given right to park anywhere. To my eye, any place without a hard barrier is free game for parking, whether it be a sidewalk, a pedestrian crossing path, or a parking island in the middle of the street. It is a bit of a sport really. If you cannot find a parking spot, create one. Move the garbage bin, ignore the no parking and fire route signs and figure out who you can possibly inconvenience the most. If it results in reduced traffic flow, not my problem. It is my right to park where I want, so thinks the French driver.

I have seen it all and am just amazed. So much so that I keep on my iphone an album of parking photos. Some are creative and worthy of award. See what I mean.

The only thing I have never seen is a tow truck moving a car or anyone getting a ticket – other than me, I should say. I received a ticket once for blocking a pedestrian crossing. My bad. But I was at the end of my rope and it was either that or leaving Janny and my parents for the day at Les Baux-de-Provence while I went down the mountain to sit in a bar to calm my nerves.

One of the best things we ever did here was to buy a Smart Fortwo (as opposed to a two-four, which has a whole other meaning in Canada). It is brilliant because it can be parked just about anywhere. The only thing smaller would be driving a scooter (that is a whole other story) or having the car/plane that George Jetson had that folded up into his briefcase. I am really looking forward to that one.