My mother-in-law, Lydia, has lived for a few years now in a Jewish retirement residence in Nice called La Colline. That said, I refer to it as Baycrest Sur Mer in homage to Baycrest, the Toronto Jewish retirement residence on Bathurst. I could alternatively call it “Baycrest with a View”.

Janny and I go often to visit her now 90 year old mother. It is of course difficult in these COVID days and itself has been in lockdown on and off on numerous occasions. Visits are now held outside in what I can only describe as temporary plastic sukkots or tents as my brother-in-law and sister have in the backyard of their Toronto home. This is difficult for me as I can no longer take a little schluff as I often did before in Lydia’s room. I do miss that. It is a great room with a separate door to a common patio with a view over the valley and sea below.

Baycrest Sur Mer is generally a happy place. I have “not so good remembers” as Janny would say, of as a child visiting my paternal grandmother in a nursing home in Kitchener year after year. That was not good. And to be honest, I was a more than a little uncomfortable at the beginning of my coming to Baycrest Sur Mer. I am more relaxed now. Janny being Janny has of course developed a whole new circle of friends with other regular visitors and the caring staff and she acts as more of an unpaid volunteer when she is there.

Baycrest Sur Mer really takes me back to Camp Shalom and Camp Solelim, the Ontario summer camps of my youth. They are really more similar than different.

How are they the same? There are “staff” and “campers”. There is the dining room festooned with posters and view over the “lake” which happens at Baycrest Sur Mer to be the Sea. There is the same rhythm to the day, from wake up to meals to activities to lights out. Even some of the activities are the same, including singing and dancing and special programs including visitor day BBQs. There are birthday cakes, but there are now too many candles now to blow out, even if COVID rules allowed the blowing out of candles. And of course, there is nap time. I have always liked nap time. What I don’t know if there is any room hopping at night at Baycrest Sur Mer, but I will leave that question unanswered.

This being France of course, there are some subtle differences. For example, wine is served with each meal. And smoking seems not only to be allowed, but encouraged. Here, you can make a donation to Baycrest Sur Mer and get an ashtray named after you. There does not seem to be sundowner hour, but when I move in, I will ask the Program Director that it be included. I will just need to figure out the daily delivery the International New York Times. And, I am told that Janny and I can decorate our room as we like.

Drop off at the camp bus can always be difficult for parents and campers alike. The day we took Lydia to Bacyrest Sur Mer was no different. It was mentally and physically exhausting and full of anxiety for everyone. That said, I can find a bit of humour in just about anything. So beyond the tears and anxiety what I remember about that day was Lydia preening and preparing for an hour in her new bedroom suite to get ready for her first dinner in the dining hall. I did not strike a match for fear of an explosion due to the more than liberal use of hair spray. Having prepared, Lydia walked elegantly into the dining hall in her heels (of course) her purse (what is in that anyway?) on the crook of her arm and a coat draped over her shoulders. To get to the “girls table” she had to walk in front of the “boys table”. I did not have to be an expert in French or in lip reading to realize that Claude-Francois was nudging Jean-Jacques to take check out the new girl, my mother-in-law!

For the past two years now, we have spent Yom Kippur at Baycrest Sur Mer and have participated in the day long Yom Kippur Service. As between the French and Hebrew, I was really not following a word, but I was quite content to sit (and yes, nap a little) staring out at the Sea and contemplating the moment.

Yes, there are residents with real maladies, physical and mental, and yes, people come and, sadly, go as well, but like Camp, there is a real sense of community and belonging within Baycrest Sur Mer. It is good wherever you are to be part of a community.