I remember a good 15 years or so ago reading an article about a young man (big surprise) who planned to spend the following year in his home (no doubt his parent’s home) without leaving and ordering everything he needed on-line. My first reaction those years ago was, “What a schmendrick!”. My second reaction was, “What happens when his computer breaks?” I am not sure whatever happened to him, but in way, I have become him and have got comfortable with my inner schmendrick.

Like many, I have really been in one form or another of confinement/quarantine/lock down/curfew since this past October. Call it what you will, but through it all, life has been pretty much the same. Work, sleep, eat, exercise, work out, netflix/amazon/, shopping and repeat!

There is the odd “‘covid coffee” as I call it; a meet up with a friend to “go for a walk”. What is with all the walking all of a sudden? Even the dogs on leashes look tired of all these walks with their masters. I can hear them muttering to one another as I pass, “You too? Enough already. Leave me alone.”

Yes, some of my confinement has been in Toronto and some of it has been in Marseille. But I can assure you, it is really all the same wherever it is. And starting tonight in Marseille, curfew is rolling back to start at 600 pm from 800 pm.

But did I say shopping? What a world. Not sure how it was for Schmendrick No. 1 all those years ago, but this is fantastic. As Max and I say to one another often, “It is not a want; it is a need.” Especially about gear. Everything I have ordered has been a need, not a want, and some, but not all, has been gear.

Most of my ordering has been from this amazing store that seems to sell everything from A to Z. It’s called Amazon. (Maybe that is why that Bezos guy named it Amazon.) In addition though, I have ordered coffee from Nespresso (definitely a need) groceries from Voila by Sobeys and from Kitchen Table. The Kitchen Table order involved sending by email my grocery list which was dutifully completed and delivered by shopping cart. This was during Quarantine No. 2.

And, I have recently solved one of the great problems of the modern world, being the resupply of the Soda Stream gas canister. Since we have had the machine, we would use consistently until the two or three canisters that we have would run out. And then the machine would sit empty for months, first by forgetfulness and then by the lack of koach (strength in hebrew and yiddish) to schelp industrial gas canisters downtown in a briefcase and then back to store to stand in line to exchange them for heavier ones to then schlep back home. And now a solution. I found a company called fizzy delivery. Get this; you leave the empty canisters at your door, and someone comes by, picks them up and leaves full canisters. It is just amazing. I am thinking that there is a business model here to have other things picked up and delivered, like milk and bread. And maybe, how about this for an idea, a double opening delivery cubby at the side of the house! I am an idea man.

And so what else have I had delivered in addition to food, coffee and compressed gas? My kids have been all over me on this buying local stuff. I complied. Classica Menswear delivered a pair of new shoes and a smart wool vest. I have added the vest look to my MS Teams clothing line. And I have created and ordered online from Henry’s Camera photo montages of the year in review. The Covid montage featured pictures of empty airports and subway stations and of our dishwasher, winner of the 2020 MVP award.

The vast majority of stuff though has come from the Amazon. The list of purchases, somewhat categorized include (and you can decide if they are “wants” or “needs”:

• Condiments – ketchup (French’s (made in Canada), ground pepper, splenda, peanut butter, sriracha and salad dressing (Greek and ranch)
• Hygene – shampoo, soap dispenser, shaving cream, pill cutter, tooth paste and toothbrush
• Home – toilet paper, paper towel, stainless steel chopsticks, laundry detergent, oven mits, wood matches, dish-wand and dish-wand refills, a bag a schmatas (rags – the mico fibre kind), light bulbs, weather stripping, safety tape, additional cutlery (what is happening to the large forks anyway?), steak knives and drinking glasses
• Clothing – gutkas (underwear) and an adult Bib – two actually, one for Toronto and one for Marseille. Don’t laugh. Janny says I am messy eater, and she is probably right. I was ok buying the bibs, although I would design it better with robust pockets to hold a cell phone and a TV shvigger (really Yiddish for mother-in-law, but a term of endearment for the remote control). I was not so ok with buying any of the other products that the Amazon suggested I may also be interested in.
• Home Office – toner cartridges, bookends, cell phone stand, ipad stand, smart-watch charging cable
• Covid Entertainment – puzzles and books
• Gifts – picture frames for montages mentioned above

As you can tell, I have been very busy. I really do need a delivery dock built into the Lower Village Gate in addition to this milk box delivery system idea of mine. Every day was an adventure with some further stuff coming to the door. And I could not even thank the delivery person. They seemed to buzz and do a dash and go; as if I may have had some infection or disease or something. That I am sorry about.

I have said before that PostCo the world will be different and I am pretty sure I am not the only person who will continue to obtain goods and services on-line. No need to go to the store. More time for a “covid coffee”. Poor dogs.